Quotes from Paul

Billy drives like an old grandma.

Are you sure you don't want Joel's autograph instead?

Don't get it wrong, we all hate their dad. (on the twins' dad)

People come up to me and say "Can I have a Paul hug?" WHAT THE HECK IS A PAUL HUG!?!?

You're what? S-s-s-s-sorry...

I dropped an anvil on Benji.

I don't know, it just seems like they can read each other's thoughts sometimes... (on the twins)

Ca$h? He's a... um, a pit bull?

Watch out, I might have rabies!

You have beautiful handwriting...

How you doin', baby gurl?

Person: Can I have a hug?
Paul: Only if I can hug you.

Paul: Here ya go. *hands over a signed picture*
Person: Spank you.
Paul: SPANK WHAT?

Person: Do you know that you're in the best band in the world?
PAUL: *nods* I know.

You look familiar.

Paul: St. Paul is not gay!! He's very, very straight.
Aaron: OK, buddy, whatever you want to believe.
Paul: You're really starting to hurt my feelings.

Paul: Do you know whose dog this is?
Person: Um... no?
Paul: It's Madonna's hairdresser's dog!

Are you sure you're not from Waldorf? I swear I've seen you so much before.

I'm the bass player. No one has a crush on the BASS player!

I'm the one that tries to make jokes and nobody laughs at. The kids are laughing at Paul, not with Paul.

Look, I know a crossdresser when I see one. (on Justin Timberlake)

Yo momma's fatter than a crack monkey. Wait, never mind. Corny "yo momma" joke.

I just wanna break one of these off. (on Benji's hair spikes)

(singing to the Garbage song "Androgyny") Girls! Like you. Boys! Like me. Girls! Like Joel!

Yeah, I didn't get this physique from eating vegetables.

Do we even play music now? Nah!

Wisdom about the business. Don't quit, keep playing every day. If you want it as bad as you think it does, you'll work for it. I guess that works in life too, if you want it, you won't stop until you get it.

I went from band member to extra just like that! *PAUSE* It's cool. *PAUSE* It's the story of my life.

My dream is to go home and stay there.

It's ok, nobody's as much of a psycho as I am.

(Fan flashes Paul)
Paul: That was weak!
(Fan has confused look on face)
Paul: Mine are bigger.
(Paul pulls up his shirt and shows his chest)

Can we go fishing nooow??